the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
