What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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