she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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