I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
