I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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