You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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