I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
