that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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