Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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