Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
