Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
