Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
me + whiskey = a bad person
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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