She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
