just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
