Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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