I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
