Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
