how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
