You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
