Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize