Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
