pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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