I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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