It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You may now shotgun with the bride
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Randomize
