THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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