guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
