duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
