my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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