Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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