I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize