You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize