i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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