I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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