I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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