almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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