I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
