He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
