Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
