When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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