I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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