I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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