The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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