Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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