my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
