p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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