explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
