I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
