this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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