I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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