somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
