Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
