what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize