Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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