it hurts more in the daytime
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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