Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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