I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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