Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
