I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
